Download PDF 4 Seasons of Marriage, The: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage, by Gary Chapman
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4 Seasons of Marriage, The: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage, by Gary Chapman
Download PDF 4 Seasons of Marriage, The: Secrets to a Lasting Marriage, by Gary Chapman
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Spring, summer, winter, fall. Marriages are perpetually in a state of transition, continually moving from one season to another―perhaps not annually, as in nature, but just as certainly and consistently. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter―discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times, we experience springtime with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On other occasions, we bask in the warmth of summer―comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature.
The seasons of marriage come and go. Each one holds the potential for emotional health and happiness, and each one has its challenges. The purpose of this book is to describe these recurring seasons of marriage, help you and your spouse identify which season your marriage is in, and show you how to enhance your marriage in all four seasons.
- Sales Rank: #13044 in Books
- Brand: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
- Published on: 2012-09-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .63" w x 5.50" l, .58 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
Chapman, author of the longstanding megaseller The Five Love Languages, uses his years of marriage counseling and leading marriage seminars as the basis for his thesis that marriages repeatedly go through periods that can be characterized by the seasons of the year. He begins by describing winter, times when marriages are marked by "coldness, harshness, and bitterness." Spring is "where most marriages begin," while summer is filled with fun. He compares an autumn marriage to "the falling of the leaves." Chapman offers detailed explanations of the emotions, attitudes and actions of the marriage seasons as well as the pros and cons of each. The book's second section provides seven strategies to enhance or change the marriage seasons, from dealing with past failures and speaking your spouse's love language to "maximizing differences" and becoming a positive influence. Chapman also specifically addresses how to improve a marriage where a spouse has no desire to change. While it's valuable to have this information in one place, this book isn't different from what Chapman has written, said and taught many times before. Clear writing, tested strategies and good stories are here, but new revelations are not. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Inside Flap
Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the perennial best seller "The Five Love Languages" (over 2.5 million copies sold) and numerous other marriage and family books. He is a senior associate pastor, an internationally known speaker, and host of "A Growing Marriage, " a syndicated radio program heard on more than 100 stations across North America. He and his wife, Karolyn, live in North Carolina.
From the Back Cover
Which season of marriage are you in?
Marriages are in a perpetual state of transition, continually moving from one season to another―perhaps not annually, as in nature, but certainly and consistently. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter―distant, discouraged, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime―filled with hope, openness, and anticipation. Sometimes we bask in the warmth of summer―satisfied and comfortable, simply enjoying life together. In times of fall, negligence and uncertainty creep in, leaving us feeling unsettled and apprehensive.
The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons in nature repeat themselves. Each season presents its own unique challenges, and each holds the potential for emotional health and happiness. This book will help you and your spouse identify which season your marriage is currently in, give you a common language with which to discuss your marriage, and provide practical strategies that will help you strengthen and enhance your relationship.
Most helpful customer reviews
99 of 104 people found the following review helpful.
A helpful book that will appeal to Christians having marriage troubles
By FaithfulReader.com
Is your marriage in the season of summer, spring, winter, or fall? Find out in THE FOUR SEASONS OF MARRIAGE, from bestselling author Gary Chapman who penned THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.
Chapman's tone is that of a friendly, empathetic counselor. First, he invites you to discover which season of marriage you and your spouse are in. These seasons don't progress in order; rather, your marriage is probably fluctuating back and forth between all four, he writes. After you identify your season, Chapman offers seven strategies to help you make the most of that season, and ideas for putting the strategies into practice. As he unpacks the characteristics of each season, Chapman includes profiles of married couples who have come to him for advice and counseling. His hope is to help couples move their marriages from fall or winter into spring or summer.
Marriage, Chapman writes, is both intimate and purposeful. When intimacy --- sharing life in a deep way --- is not attained, we feel troubled. Marriage is also purposeful. It helps us raise our children, and in nurturing and developing our gifts and abilities. "Life is easier when two hearts and minds are committed to working together to face the challenges of the day," he writes.
Spring is where most marriages begin. There is joy, excitement and an anticipation of the future. It's a time of new beginnings and positive changes. Summer means happiness, peace, satisfaction, fun and comfort. There is a sense of accomplishment and a desire to keep growing as a couple. You overlook your spouse's shortcomings, and there is a growing sense of togetherness.
Fall, of course, is a precursor to winter, characterized by sadness, apprehension and rejection. A spouse might feel insecure. The couple drifts apart, disengages. An affair may happen, catapulting the marriage into winter. Winter, he writes, is characterized by the emotions of hurt, anger, disappointment, loneliness and rejection. Our attitude is usually bad. We see problems as too big or unresolvable. Our actions include withdrawal, silence, harsh words and even violent acts. Divorce can be just around the corner. "The marriage is like two people living in separate igloos," writes Chapman.
If you find yourself in a fall or winter season, Chapman assures you this is not hopeless. This leads to the easy marital profile indicator quiz, which may seem a bit simplistic. Next, Chapman unpacks the seven strategies for enhancing the season you find yourself in, from dealing with past failures (confession, repentance, forgiveness), to a very concrete set of ideas about empathetic listening. The third strategy, "Learn to speak your spouse's love language," will feel familiar to readers of THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES, and recaps the ideas from that book. The seventh strategy is one that a spouse can read and implement alone if the other spouse is resistant to working on the marriage. A study guide at the end of the book is suitable for group discussion, with alternate questions for a couple's private use.
There are a few small troubles. Chapman is already touting his THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by page 26 as he does throughout the book, as well as heavily pushing marriage conferences. Both are worthy things to recommend, but it does feel a bit self-promotional. (He's a popular speaker at marriage conferences.) Some of the analogies feel overly cute (the problems in the season of summer are "yellowjackets," for example; in spring, it's "poison ivy").
But these are minor flaws in a helpful book that should mainly appeal to Christians whose marriages are in trouble, or to fans of Chapman's THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. Small groups and counselors will appreciate the study guide tucked into the back to help with further explorations.
--- Reviewed by Cindy Crosby. Contact Cindy at (...)
56 of 60 people found the following review helpful.
Something To Talk About!
By M. HOLCK
One of the most beneficial features of this book is the fact that Dr. Chapman describes the emotional seasons of marriage and gives them names we're all familair with - using the seasons. (You can take a free quiz to see your marriage season at 4seasonsofmarriage.com - no personal infomation asked for, either, not even email!) This season idea is very easy for any married couple to grasp and, once a couple identifies the season or seasons they are in, Dr. Chapman's book provides the language and the guidance for a couple to talk about their relationship openly and in a somewhat more observational role when one uses the seasonal analogy. The book is written for any married couple - no matter how many years married. It addresses happy couples and how to sustain the happiness as well as couples in trouble and providines strategies for improvement. A great tool to have on the shelf for all the years of marriage! I find it invaluable.
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Seasons of Love
By Rebecca of Amazon
"My experience both in my own marriage and in counseling couples for more than thirty years, suggests that marriages are perpetually in a state of transition, continually moving from one season to another..." ~ Gary Chapman
While "The Four Seasons of Marriage" can be read in a matter of hours, the lessons learned are quite valuable. You can instantly put the ideas into practice because they are practical and wise. Instead of taking a complex problem and making it overwhelmingly difficult to solve, Gary makes everything more simple.
Once you have determined your season (winter, spring, summer, fall) then you can decide to try to stay in a season (summer is comfortable) or move out of a season (like winter which is harsh) more quickly and into a situation you prefer. All that is needed is a little motivation and a sense of determination.
What is the secret to getting your spouse to listen to you?
How can you work on your marriage alone?
How can you affirm your spouses thoughts?
Gary Chapman answers these questions and more.
What I found interesting is that you can experience spring after twenty years of marriage or winter in the first year. Since each relationship is totally unique some seasons may feel more familiar than others. However, Gary believes that you go through the seasons on a continual basis. I have personally found this to be very true.
After reading numerous books on marriage and relationships I think this is one of the best books on the subject. It really makes sense and is written by an author who has been married for over forty-two years. This book also contains a summary of the five love languages.
I can also recommend: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
~The Rebecca Review
P.S. I read this again in 2013 and loved it even more the second time. It really does have many practical ideas for self improvement. This is a book you can read over and over again to gleen new wisdom. The second time I read this I was reading it on the Kindle and it seemed to be a very quick read. Gary goes really deep into the counseling process and lets you see how a marriage relationship really works. While reading this book the second time I finally realized what my husband and my love languages were. It was like a revelation. So I'm happy I read this book again.
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